I Got Fooled

It has been 44 days since Ron passed away, but whose counting. Some days it feel like it just happened and other days like it has been forever. I have no idea what makes the difference for the time frame. Last week I talked strongly to myself about trying to get back to some form of normalcy. Whatever the heck that is.

I haven’t worked out for months so I wanted to get back to doing that. Amazing how everything starts spreading once you stop exercising on a regular basis. I needed to do many things in the yard; plant annuals, prune roses, etc. I’ve been wanting to take more classes on how to use my new sewing machine, but couldn’t leave Ron. Also, I have several sewing projects I need to finish. Oh, the list goes on and on. So where to start. The sewing store was starting a new Beginning Quilt class so why not do that. I could learn the correct and best way to do a quilt. Maybe I could rid myself of bad habits learning on my own previously. I went to the first class and came home energized. I can’t wait to get started. Next up getting back to Curves. I went on Saturday and again Monday. It felt good to stretch, bend and lift my body parts again. It kicked my butt, however it felt good. Next hit the yard. The yard was Ron’s pride and joy. So even though my heart isn’t in it this summer I couldn’t let him down and not get everything done. Of course, I was happy I took the time once I finished.
So last week had the appearance of “normal” activities, I was feeling pretty good and felt like a “new” norm was forming. Fewer Crying moments. I was finally getting there.

Then today rolled around. My neighbor told me I had a broken sprinkler head. He was not only nice enough to fix it, he even went to the store to pickup the part. He also pointed out 2 other heads that weren’t working properly. While I can do a lot of things, adjusting sprinkler heads is not one of them. This was the first thing that came up I couldn’t handle. So I have to call my lawn maintenance guy. Then I went to the mail box and Ron’s Death Certificate finally arrived, after having to call last week to find out why I hadn’t received it. The Department of Vital Statistics forgot to process the information. Well that was a slap upside the head.  Normal has not arrived after all. Tonight has been a tough night.  So I will pull up my “big girl panties” and start all over again to try to get to a “new” normal.